You are the piece that holds us together

So you are the piece that holds us together. Today for the article we are talking about easiest ways that you can keep your relationship right way. I’m going to explain you guys the best way to protect you relation ships with you significant other part. So for this one i’m going to use my personal experience in my current relationship. We currently on our 6th year on our relationship. I’m not going to say that i’m the expert in these but i know a little bit. Disagreements and quarrels are inevitable. When two people have been together for a long time and their lives are intertwined, they are likely to disagree from time to time. These disagreements range from big and small, ranging from what to eat for dinner or not to do chores to arguing over whether a couple should pursue a career as a couple or decide on the religious upbringing of their children.

Just because you had a fight with your partner doesn’t mean there’s really anything wrong with your relationship. In fact, with the right approach, an argument can improve your relationship. If you never fight and talk about your problems, you can never solve them. By resolving conflicts constructively, you can get to know your partner better and find solutions that work for both of you. On the other hand, conflicts can also escalate and create malicious intent without solving any problem. How can you improve your chances of successfully resolving conflict in your relationship.

You are the piece that holds us together – Directly

So what is directly means. It means you need to express your feelings to your partner directly. If i need to express something to my fiance i don’t go around the matter. I choose direct ways to tell her or express my feelings directly to her. Sometimes people don’t just talk about what’s bothering them, they choose more indirect ways to express their displeasure. One partner may speak condescendingly to the other and hint at possible hostility. In other cases, the partner may be depressed without solving the problem. Partners can also avoid discussing issues by quickly changing the subject or avoiding them when they arise. Such indirect ways of expressing anger are not constructive because they do not make it clear to the person against whom the behavior is directed how to react.  They know their partner is angry, but their lack of spontaneity leaves them with no indication of what they can do to resolve the issue. This one is the my most used way to keep our relationship for dang 6 years. Other wise i don’t where will be this end. 

Talk about your feelings 

As i said previously you need to talk to your partner directly. Another thing that teens do wrong these days is expressing emotions wrongly. You don’t need to express them such a attacking way. Only thing that you want to do is use gentle words while expressing your feelings. Comments that directly attack your partner’s character can seriously damage a relationship. If a boy gets upset because of his girlfriend’s jealousy and says, You are completely irrational. He invites her to get defensive, which can interfere with later conversations. A more constructive strategy is to use personal statements in conjunction with descriptions of behavior. The statement focuses on how you feel rather than blaming your partner, while the behavior description focuses on your partner’s specific behavior rather than a character flaw. For example, a person might say, I get mad when you say I flirted with someone during an innocent conversation. This tactic is simple, but it doesn’t challenge your partner’s character.

Never say never your partner

This is something that i found hard way that you don’t ever need to say no to your partner. Specially if you are a man. When solving a problem, you should avoid making generalizations about your partner. Conversations like you never help around the house can cause your partner to become defensive. Instead of starting a discussion about how to make your partner more helpful or caring, this strategy may lead your partner to give counterexamples showing that they can actually be helpful or caring. Again, you don’t want to force your partner to be defensive. 

Pick a fight

So what about picking fights with your partner. We know there are no relationships without any fights. We also have a few fights over time but we always manage to suppress them. Because we have a better understanding of ourselves. If you want to have a constructive discussion, you have to stick to one question at a time. Unhappy couples can boil down multiple issues into a single argument, which conflict researcher John Gottman calls kitchen failure. This refers to the old expression everything but the kitchen sink, which means everything is covered. 

This may not be the strategy you use yourself when trying to solve a personal problem. Then how you are the piece that holds us together. Imagine you want to think about how to fit more physical activity into your daily routine. You may not think now is a good time to think about saving more for retirement, organizing your wardrobe, and figuring out how to handle tricky situations at work. It will try to solve these problems one by one. It may seem obvious, but in the heat of the moment an argument over an issue can turn into a rant, with both parties complaining about each other. The more complaints you file, the less likely they are to be fully discussed and resolved.

Really listen to your partner

Best part or you can say the better solution to keep a long term relationship is lightning. It’s not like listening to music or something you always need to listen to your partner. You need to be focused on what she or he has to say to you guys. It can be very frustrating to feel that your partner is not paying attention to you. When you interrupt your partner or assume you know what they’re thinking, you’re not giving them a chance to speak up. Even if you’re sure you know where your partner is coming from or what they’re going to say, you can still make mistakes and your partner will still feel like you’re not listening.

And that way you can say you are the piece that holds us together. You can show your partner that you care by using active listening techniques.  When your partner speaks, paraphrase what he said, that is, paraphrase it in your own words. This prevents misunderstandings before they arise. You can also test perception by making sure your partner’s reactions are interpreted correctly. If we look at a little example you also seem a little offended from this as well isn’t it. These strategies help you avoid misunderstandings and show your partner that you pay attention and care about what they say.

You are the piece that holds us together – Don’t take your partner lightly

I did this step wrong for years. Every time i took my girlfriends opinions so little. I was like ok that’s what you want and i was ignoring everything that she says. That is something that you don’t want in any relationships. You need be respective and responsible to your partner. Of all the negative things you can do and say during a conflict, the worst is probably contempt. Gottman found it to be one of the best predictors of divorce. Derogatory comments are comments that put your partner down. This can include sarcasm and insults. This behavior is extremely disrespectful and implies that you are angry with your partner.

Imagine a friend saying, I wish you would bring me more. And another replying. Oh yes, the most important thing is to see and be seen in a pirate restaurant and pay a little more for food. Are you superficial. Or one colleague says he’s too tired to clean up, and another replies. I’m sure you’re tired after a long day of chatting at the water cooler. I’ve been playing all day and you come home and lay on the couch staring at your smartphone like a teenager. This type of disregard prevents a real discussion and can anger your partner instead of try to solve the problem. So this is all i got to say about you are the piece that holds us together. And this is all my relationship experience that i have to share. I will see you guys soon as possible bye for now.

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